Bruce Tuolumne // two months old

Dear Bruce Tuolumne,

Just like that, another month has gone by since you joined this world and became my whole world. Once in awhile, I'm asked if it feels weird to be a mom. It doesn't. Being your mom feels more natural to me than anything I've done before. The joy you give me is beyond compare.

On the very first day of your second month, you locked eyes with me and smiled for the very first time. And you haven't stopped since! You smile whenever you see me or your dad and every time I feel like my heart is going to burst; I wake up every morning excited to see your smiling face. Speaking of faces: you have the best! There is one face that you've been making since the day you were born, where you just stare at everyone as if you're thinking, "You're all a bunch of weirdos!" 

You still love to wave your arms around like a crazy person but your movements have become much more fluid (your fists don't slam into your cheeks when you sneeze anymore) and I trust you enough to give you a rattle without worrying that you'll smack yourself in the face with it. Your favorite thing to do when you're laying on your back is to extend your arms straight out in front of you with your hands balled into fists. I grab your hands when you do this and say, "Superman!" and Papa likes to "fist-bump" them. Either way, you love it, and you show your love by smiling and gurgling whenever anyone touches your hands when you're in that pose.

When you aren't stretching your fists out in front of you, you're sucking on them. Actually, there's usually more gnawing than sucking. And while you're gnawing you're also making all sorts of grunting noises. It's the cutest thing! You're such a boy. You also like sucking on your fingers, specifically your pointer finger. You stick it so far into your mouth that you start gagging and I have to pull it out to prevent you from choking. Silly baby.

You take a pacifier now! Praise. The. Lord. I think the most trying part of our first month with you was that you didn't like any of the pacifiers we gave you. No matter how much your dad and I tried, you couldn't seem to figure out the dang things. Until we finally found the miracle paci! It has a stuffed kitty attached that you love to grab, even though you sometimes knock the kitty with your waving fists and pull the pacifier out.

You were blessed this month and did so well! I was nervous that you would cry through the whole blessing because you can sometimes be particular about the way you are held, but I didn't hear a peep out of you. The men who were in the circle said that you were completely relaxed and just let your arms hang by your sides, which, if I think about it, is what I should have expected all along. You're always very mellow.

We bring you to church now and on the first day, you slept straight through all three hours! Even with all of the people peeking and oohing and ahhing over you; I was amazed because you're still not the best napper but when we got home and took you out of your car seat you slept for another whole hour! I wanted to wake you up because I was worried that you wouldn't sleep well that night, but dad stopped me and you slept as well as you always do once bedtime came.

When you were born your ears were flat against your head and the tops of them were crinkly. I thought they were going to be that way forever until Aunt Amanda mentioned something about them not fluffing up yet. Well, I can now say that your ears have fluffed and they are incredibly cute. I am completely obsessed with you. I love watching your body change and seeing all of your features develop. Your thighs have gotten so chunky, your fingers are chubby, and your eyes are slowly lightening into the prettiest shade of blue.

You still love to stare at lights and windows but, more than anything, you love to be outside. I bring you out in the mornings and evenings into Nana and Papa's front yard, lay you on a blanket under the trees, and you enjoy watching the branches sway in the breeze. If the dogs are around they try to lick your face but I only let them lick your feet. You haven't shown any interest in the dogs and cats yet.

Oh, little bear. I love your big, open-mouthed smile. I even love your frowny face; it makes me laugh even though I never want you to be sad. I'm excited to see the person you are becoming, and I'm trying my best to be the mom you need. I love you, baby bear.

p.s. read bruce's third-month letter and his sixth-month letter!