Wednesday, May 11, 2011

This Horse.

Riddle my this:
Why is it that something that once caused so much joy and pleasure in life can, in the blink of an eye, be the source of so much pain?
Like our barn. I loved that place. It was my "quiet spot". Now I can't go near it because the sight of Flash's empty stall and Moose all alone still haunts me. I went back the day after, bawled my eyes out, and haven't gone back since. And I will stay away as long as I can... butI'm sure that sooner or later I will have to face my fears.

Last week I had to have my horse, Flash, put down because the tendons in his back legs were becoming so worn down and fragile that he could hardly stand, let alone walk. It was one of the most difficult decisions I've ever had to make. But seeing him suffering without anything that I could do about it was even harder. I cried longer and harder in the amount of time between making that decision and the actual carrying out of it then I ever have in my entire life.

Flash wasn't just any other horse. This was the horse I learned to ride on, this was the horse I won my first race on. This was the horse I took my niece and nephews and all my little cousins for rides on. This horse was the reason I gave up gymnastics. He was the reason I gave up racing, when he was too old to do it anymore and I just couldn't let go of him to get a newer, younger horse. He was the one I went to when I couldn't stand to be around people anymore, when my siblings drove me crazy or I didn't want to deal with my parents. When boys broke my heart or my best friends betrayed me. This horse got me through it all. All my teenage troubles were poured out into this horses all knowing eyes, so calm and caring. I can still see them in my mind, brown and deep and understanding, but always that wild side.

Flash loved to run! Run like the wind and then a little bit more. Now he can run again! Now he's running through the feilds of heaven with all the other horses.

I'm glad he got to have one last ride, even if that is what pushed him over the edge. I'm glad that Melissa, JR & Wyatt were able to enjoy him for a final time.
Flash was very loved and he always will be. He's my baby :] No matter how many horses I own or ride after this, Flash will always hold a special place in my heart.

1 comment:

  1. Aww you write such beautiful words, what a special bond you had, sorry for your loss, and thank you for always giving the kiddos rides like you did, they loved it and they love you! I still havent told Melissa, i think she will cry with you when she finds out.


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