August 29, 2017
My inner battle with breastfeeding continues. Two weeks ago I was crying at the thought of never nursing Bruce again, and last week I was ready to call it quits right then and there during every pre-nap session. But today I'm back to feeling melancholy about the whole thing. My belly is expanding as little sister grows bigger and it's becoming increasingly uncomfortable to hold Bruce close enough to nurse. I wonder how long we'll be able to keep going. He now only nurses for five or so minutes -- it's more for comfort than for nutrients -- and as he drifts off to sleep in my arms, I'm filled with gratitude to be able to provide him with the peace and security he needs to rest easy.
It's sad to think that one day we might not have such an easy connection. For now, during those few minutes when he's asleep beside me, I soak it all in and pray that he'll always be able to find the peace that his soul desires in the comforting embrace of my arms.