You've heard the phrase "real woman have curves", right? Ouch. I'll just stand here in all of my flat-chested glory and let that sink in. The first time I heard that phrase I was in my early teens and what I wanted more than anything was to have a little bit of cleavage. I remember thinking that my boobs would eventually come in, I just need to be patient. Well, here I am, turning 22 this year and still having trouble finding A cup bras small enough to fit teeny breasts. I have a straight waist and narrow hips. I haven't weighed more than 110 lbs in five years. My pant size ranges from 0-3 depending on the pant style. Supposedly I'm "the ideal." Then why do I still get so down on myself? How come when I look in the mirror sometimes all I think is how undesirable I must be. But I know that this can't be true because I have a husband who tells me a thousand times a day, to the point of driving me to insanity, how absolutely beautiful I am.
So why? The answer is that your self-worth doesn't come from a man! It doesn't even come from the media! There are times when I'll look at the celebrities on the covers of magazines at the grocery store and think, "wow, she is so beautiful", and leave it at that. Then there are other times that it will drive me crazy with envy that my hair isn't as shiny hers, my skin isn't as flawless, my eyelashes aren't as long, and my legs aren't as thin. This happens because I am human. I am a woman and I am imperfect. I just taught this to the seven and eight year olds in my Sunday school class yesterday. We were each made differently, and that's what makes us special. That's what makes us attractive. That's what makes us perfect and, ya know what? It's not the media's job to make us see that. I don't need them to put a girl with big frizzy hair, bushy eyebrows, short legs, and cracked heels to convince me that I'm beautiful.
There's so much judging going on. Curvy women feel judged by thin women, and thin women feel judged by curvy women. This needs to change. But throwing a fit about the media's image isn't the way that change is going to happen. When I was a teen I didn't spend my time looking through fashion or gossip magazines. I've never once bought an issue of Vouge or Seventeen Mag.. So then where did my insecurities come from? Easy. They came from me. From my own head and my own comparing of myself to others. But I have a dad who showed me through his love how much I am worth, and I have a mom who taught me not to care about the opinions of others and to find my own confidence. When I get dressed in the morning I do it for myself. I wear clothes that make me feel good. I only dress for Nate on special occasions, and I try to never dress to impress anyone else. Once in a while I will catch myself trying to, then I'll start to wonder mid-way through my routine why I feel so ugly. That's what comparison will do to you. It will leave you in self-doubt because your co-workers hair has a better curl than yours. STOP IT.
The media was made for our pleasure and enjoyment. Once we stop being interested in the things they are promoting those things will change. The power is in our hands. So if you have a daughter and you are worried about the influences she will be surrounded by, make your influence louder. Even if you don't have children. Beauty is more than the shape of your body. It's more than the color of your hair. It's more than those new designer jeans. I'm not trying to be cheesy or anything, but your beauty comes from you. When you know that you are beautiful then you will be beautiful, and it won't matter what anyone else is saying.